


Say Yes To the Dress

by SailAweigh



Category: Say Yes to the Dress RPF, Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance, community: space_married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-01
Updated: 2009-09-01
Packaged: 2017-10-11 20:03:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/116531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailAweigh/pseuds/SailAweigh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was during the Academy days, Jim was boning anything with a zip code, it was safe to say: "The day you commit to someone forever, Jim, I'll be wearing a dress!" Now, they are getting married and Leonard H. McCoy has to wear a wedding dress. A white one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Yes To the Dress

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Current mood:**

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amused  
  
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**Entry tags:**

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[fic](http://sail-aweigh.livejournal.com/tag/fic), [kirk/mccoy](http://sail-aweigh.livejournal.com/tag/kirk%2Fmccoy), [say yes to the dress](http://sail-aweigh.livejournal.com/tag/say%20yes%20to%20the%20dress), [star trek 2009](http://sail-aweigh.livejournal.com/tag/star%20trek%202009)  
  
  
  
Written for [](http://community.livejournal.com/space_married/profile)[**space_married**](http://community.livejournal.com/space_married/), a Kirk/McCoy community. Go check it out!

 **Title:** Say Yes To the Dress  
 **Prompt:** Wedding #24 - It was during the Academy days, Jim was boning anything with a zip code, it was safe to say: "The day you commit to someone forever, Jim, I'll be wearing a dress!" Now, they are getting married and Leonard H. McCoy has to wear a wedding dress. A white one.  
 **Rating:** NC-17/Adult  
 **Word count:** ~3800  
 **Notes/Disclaimer:** Not mine. Please don't sue, I'm unemployed. Many thanks to my lovely beta [](http://arliss.livejournal.com/profile)[**arliss**](http://arliss.livejournal.com/) for her help in making this a better fic.

Leonard McCoy looked at the ornately carved entrance to the shop and tried not to think of just how much he wanted to choke a bitch. Preferably, the one standing next to him, grinning, all white teeth and full lips.

"This is it, Bones! Kleinfield's. The premier shopping mecca for wedding apparel on both Earth's hemispheres and half the Federation planets. This should be a piece of cake."

Leonard scowled. "No, Jim. Cake is what we're supposed to eat after the wedding. This…is a travesty."

"Eh, don't take it so hard, Bones. At least you get to choose something to your liking. I've got to go get my dress greens tailored. Those things are all stiff braid and starched high collars. I'm going to feel like someone is choking me with a sling throughout the entire ceremony."

*Too right, you're going to feel choked at some point. Sooner rather than later, if I have anything to say about it* Leonard thought to himself.

Kirk pulled one of the glass doors open and with a sweep of one arm, ushered McCoy into the lobby of the boutique.

With a groan, Leonard entered the shop, moving quietly toward a lounge where family groups were waiting for a consultant to greet them. In fact, he could see Uhura, Rand and Chapel already seated together, chatting softly among themselves. McCoy found himself slowing down, reluctant to announce his presence. Kirk, sensing his trepidation, curled a hand around one bicep and urged him all the way over to the settee the women were sitting on.

"Good morning, ladies!" Jim called out. "Are you ready to assist our good doctor in his search for the perfect ensemble?" Uhura just rolled her eyes at his smirk, while the other two offered up greetings to the doctor and the Captain. McCoy yanked his arm out of Kirk's grasp and crossed his arms over his chest.

"This is stupid. I don't see why we have to come all the way here to spend an obnoxious amount of credits on something I'm only going to wear once. Damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a fashion model."

"Let me be the judge of that, once you've found your outfit, Bones." Jim leered at Leonard, sweeping a lingering glance up his legs and over his chest. He winked at McCoy and slung his arm over the other man's shoulders. "I think you'll look quite bonny, as Scotty would say, in something to show off those shoulders." McCoy glared at the carpet under his feet and clamped his hands under his arms even harder. He would not choke a bitch. Yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Excuse me. Is this the McCoy/Kirk wedding party?" A curvy, dark-skinned woman in a black suit walked up to the group.

"Yes, it is," replied Uhura.

"Welcome to Kleinfeld's." The woman looked over the five member party and announced "I'm Kaesha. I'll be your consultant for your appointment." She looked at the women seated on the sofa and asked "And which one of you is the bride?"

Uhura smirked, Chapel and Rand shook their heads in denial, McCoy snorted and Jim just gave a chortle. Grabbing Leonard by the back of his arms, he turned him toward the consultant and gave him a push. "Here he is! Do your best, or worst, whichever it takes."

Kaesha's mouth dropped open and her eyes widened. "I thought we would be fitting someone for a dress, today, not a tuxedo?"

"You are. He lost a bet." That smirk was not leaving Jim's face anytime soon.

"Well, is the bride going to be wearing a dress, too?"

"No, I am not. I'll be wearing my dress uniform, which is being tailored for me by Starfleet." He grinned delightedly. "I've got better legs, but the bet, you know."

"Well, in any case, we've got a limited time to work with. I see all the release forms have been signed. We should get started. If you'll follow me?" Kaesha started walking towards a hallway lined with dressing rooms.

A puzzled look crossed Leonard's face. "Wait! What release forms?" Leonard dropped his arms and waited for the consultant to face him.

"All of our clients are asked to sign releases so we can use the footage from their consultations for the TLC show Say Yes to the Dress." Kaesha pointed to the cameras set up at strategic points in the salon.

McCoy's shoulders slumped and he covered his eyes with one hand. "Jim, I didn't sign any forms, did I?" He sighed heavily. Could his humiliation get any greater?

"Hey, Bones." Jim came up to him and started rubbing his hands up and down Leonard's arms. He leaned in close to one ear and whispered, "You get through this and I promise that when you get home tonight, I will suck you off until your brains come out your dick. For as long as you want. Promise. And, um, you can blame Chapel for being an excellent forger. You shouldn't let her sign your name to supply requests, she's gotten better at your name than you."

McCoy threw a dirty look at Chapel, thinking *et tu, Chapel* to himself. To Jim he whispered, "Deal. And you're going to be there until you choke on it, you sneaky bastard."

"Deal." Jim brushed his lips over McCoy's in a brief caress, squeezed his biceps and stepped back. "I've got to motor. Bad luck to see the bride in his dress before the wedding, right?" He grinned and gave a quick wave to everyone before turning and heading for the doors. McCoy glowered after him, a churning feeling in his stomach at the thought of the cameras.

"All right. Let's do this." McCoy strode over to Kaesha and glared at her. "I may throw up on you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leonard had tried on three dresses already. They all made him feel like Fiona from that classic 20th century catoon, Shrek. Large, ungainly, and the green was from the sour stomach of knowing this was all going on record. Everything was frilly, floaty, flouncy, fluffy. Or, in the case of the current one, it made him feel like 30 pounds of flour in a 20 pound sack. It was what was referred to as a mermaid-style gown.

"Damnit, Kaesha, I'm a doctor, not auditioning for a role at the Sunken Gardens water show!"

"Well, let's catalog just what you do want, then." Kaesha attempted to calm McCoy down. "No cleavage. We can get a dress with a high neck, then. You're definitely a rectangle in shape, but rather than a mermaid shape to add curves, let's emphasize your waist with a belt. And we'll look for a sleeker fabric that holds its shape without being stiff. I think we've got a couple suitable ones in the Anne Barge line."

Kaesha left to go find the Anne Barge dresses, while McCoy shucked off the latest disaster. He turned his back on the ever-present camera and tried to pretend it wasn't there. Only the mental image of Jim's lips around his cock were keeping him there for the moment. The kid better make it good, real good, tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At one point, the network people had sat him down in a chair facing a camera. He knew they were going to have some kind of a voice-over lead-in for the actual show, but for now he was being asked a variety of questions about how he and Jim had met, what was special about the wedding, what family was attending, and so on.

"We met on the shuttle on the way to Starfleet. I told him my ex took everything in the divorce except my bones. So now I'm _his_ , 'Bones'."

"Joanna is brilliant. She'll be whatever she wants to be and I'll make sure it happens. Jim's already made sure we've still got a planet, I'll do the rest."

"He was the academy playboy. I said if he ever actually settled down with one person, I'd wear a dress to the wedding. Unfortunately, too many people heard me say it. Here I am and it turns out it's my wedding."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leonard couldn't believe he was doing this. Kaesha trailed him as he walked out into the lounge where Uhura, Rand and Chapel were waiting, the skirt lifted in his hands in an attempt to keep his size twelves from treading all over the hem.

He cleared his throat, a gruff "Well?" coming out. He didn't know what to do with his arms once he dropped the skirt, fidgeting, wondering if he should go whole hog and get a bouquet, too. That would keep his hands busy, at least. His fingers twitched a little. The urge to strangle someone still hadn't abated.

"Oh, Len." Uhura covered her mouth with her hands, "You look magnificent." Rand and Chapel sniffled, bringing their hands up to their eyes trying to stem the tears.

Kaesha beamed at the group. "So, this is it? You're saying yes to [this dress](http://pics.livejournal.com/sail_aweigh/pic/0004h99f)?"

"Yes!" the women all chorused out.

Leonard looked a little abashed. "Well, I guess it must be the one, then." The corners of his mouth turned up just slightly, a pink flush over his cheeks. He looked at the three women, hesitantly. "Really?"

All three nodded vigorously.

"All right, then." He picked up the skirt and jerked his chin at Kaesha. "Let's get this thing off; I've got a debt to collect."

It was time for Leonard to go choke a bitch and Jim Kirk so owed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was all darkness and silence in their room, other than the wet sounds of Jim's hot mouth rising and falling on Leonard's cock and his own gasping breaths. Leonard's hands clutched at his partner's hair, alternately petting it and carding through it. Jim was settled between his thighs, his lips and tongue slicking up and down his cock, one hand wrapped around the base of the shaft and the other cradling Leonard's balls. He might eventually tell the kid how damn good it felt and how sexy he was, with his lips swollen from the friction of sucking his dick so thoroughly, but for now, Leonard was doing his best to not actually choke a bitch, so that this would last for as long as it took for him to feel like he'd gotten a little payback. But, damn, it did feel good. Maybe good enough, after all, to give his lover a little praise.

"Oh, God, like that Jim. You're a marvelous cocksucker. So hot, so tight, yeah, suck me." He thrust his hips lightly up into Jim's mouth and grip, Jim's head rising and falling with the motion. "Magnificent mouth, I want to fuck it, yeah. Like that."

Jim hummed his approval and started adding more of a twist to his right wrist and opened his mouth wider, taking more of Leonard's dick deeper into his throat, mouth chasing his hand farther and farther down the shaft. It was a tight, wet suction that didn't relent.

"Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Just like that. Like that." That electric spark deep down inside that had been building for a while was getting ready to go supernova. "Jim!" he shouted, his hips stuttering up into that wet heat that just kept sucking and licking while he emptied out his release. He let out a long breath. "Oh, God, that was good. Come up here."

Jim gave his prick one last lick and a soft kiss on the head, then crawled up Leonard's body until he was sprawled over his chest, his groin rocking slowly against one of Leonard's thighs. Their mouths met, tongues slowly circling each other in a give-and-take rhythm along with their hips. Leonard reached one hand down to take Jim's cock in hand, stroking it firmly, his thumb swiping over the head of his prick to gather the pre-come as a lubricant.

"You don't deserve this, asshole. Even if you did just give me a grade-A blowjob, you deserve to suffer for making me go through that fiasco in front of cameras, today." Leonard tweaked one of Jim's nipples with his other hand, then smoothed the skin down softly with the pads of his fingers. He alternated that, pinch, soothe, pinch, soothe, first one nipple, then the other, listening to the whimpers coming from Jim's slack mouth. "Suffering is good for the soul."

Jim's hands came up and held Leonard's head in place while he crushed his lips against the other man's, fingers curling into brown hair, scratching and twisting. His hips rocked into Leonard's fist with abandon. A whine built up in his throat that sounded like "yeah" or "more" or "good", but might have been "For you, Bones," when his entire body tensed up and Leonard felt the pulse of his release against his stomach. A grab at a tissue off the night table for a wipe down and they lay there, slowly stroking their hands over each other's chests, arms, thighs as they drifted into a contented slumber.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leonard was starting to think this nightmare was never going to end.

The ceremony was only an hour away and his dress still wasn't ready for him to actually start dressing. Oh, sure, he'd had his final fitting at Kleinfeld's over a month ago, the dress bagged up and hung in a closet in their quarters since then, but the room at Starfleet that had been set aside for him to change into his gown was still lacking that one very vital component of the wedding—his dress!

Chapel, Rand and Uhura had come over earlier in the day to presumably gather everything he required to get all primped and dolled up and transported it in their car. Spock was tasked with going to the florist to pick up all the decorations for the hall and Jim had left with his dress green uniform first thing this morning, before Leonard had even woken up, the closest they were willing to come to tradition towards sequestering the bride and groom the night before the wedding. Somehow, in all the busywork, his gown had gone missing. Now, the three women and Leonard were trying to find some way to resolve the problem.

"Uhura, someone's going to have to go back to our quarters and check the closet for the dress, again. It's got to be there somewhere." Leonard paced in front of the mirror, right arm across his stomach, clutching his left elbow, while he gnawed on the knuckles of his left hand. "Christ, Jim is going to be pissed. The cameras are out there, waiting for me to show up in that Kleinfeld dress, so they can get the capper to the episode. What are we supposed to tell them, that we lost it? I'll wear the damn thing, if we could just find it!"

Uhura kept pinning up Rand's hair, one curl at a time. "Len, it's under control. I called Spock, he's swinging by on the way back from the florist. You'll have your clothes in plenty of time. In fact, I think I hear him now."

A knock sounded on the door and Leonard rushed over to yank it open, nearly sucking Spock into the room with the inrush of air. He saw the box Spock was holding and reached for it.

"Is this it? Why's it in a box, it used to be on a hanger? What are you standing around for, don't you have enough to do? Go find somewhere to put those flowers. And quit gawping, you look stupid. Never seen a nervous bride before? Out, out, out!" Leonard gave one more glare at the Vulcan and swung the door shut with a slam. He stood there for a moment and then leaned his forehead against the door.

"Damnit, I'm a doctor, not a blushing bride having the last minute vapors!"

Chapel came over and took the box from him. "Come on, McCoy, let's get you dressed." She moved over to where a dressing screen had been set up in one corner and set the box down on a chair.

Leonard moved behind the screen and started stripping off. He was not looking forward to this part of the ceremony, wearing an honest-to-God wedding dress, but he'd never welched on a bet and he wasn't about to start now.

"I'm ready. Pass it over, Chapel."

To his surprise, rather than coming around the screen with the bouffant gown, a pair of black dress trousers were flung over the top of the screen.

"Huh?" He poked his head around the edge of the screen, looked at Chapel and then at the box. "What's in there?"

Chapel pulled out a dress shirt, a tuxedo jacket, a cumberbund, and a bow tie. "Looks like your wedding tux!" She looked at the box again. "Oh, and a pair of black dress shoes. Everything you need to look like a groom waiting for his bride."

Leonard looked at her and then at the other two women suspiciously. "Did any of you know anything about this?"

"Len, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, okay? Just get dressed and be ready to say your vows with a man who adores you and you adore right back." Uhura patted the last curl in place on top of Rand's head and gave it a light spritz of hairspray to keep them all in place. "We've still got Christine's hair to do and I assume one of us will end up doing your tie for you. Men."

"I suppose you're right. The prisoner has been given a reprieve and it would be a shame to waste it." Leonard took the rest of the pieces to the tuxedo and ducked behind the screen to finish dressing. He'd need help with that tie. He was a doctor, damnit, not a fashion maven.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leonard shifted nervously at the head of the aisle. Everyone was in their places: Chapel, Rand and Uhura to the right; Spock, Sulu and Chekov to his left. The only one left to wait on was Kirk and he was currently, he checked his watch, five minutes late. The string quartet had already had to throw in an extra piece to fill the time and the rustling from the guests was slowly growing louder. McCoy was starting to get just a little pissed. Jim's dress greens had been ready for months; there really wasn't a good excuse for his tardiness. Mostly, he was starting to feel just a little bit like a fool. First the big deal over the dress, which became no deal and now it looked like Jim was pulling a runner. Maybe he's the one who sent the dress back because he decided he didn't really want to settle down to just one person for the rest of his life. He couldn't bear to watch the entrance any longer, because he was no longer sure there would be anyone to watch for. So, when he heard the first gasp, he just pulled his head down between his shoulders, convinced it was someone sent to tell them the wedding had been called off.

Until he felt a touch on his elbow and Spock's voice in his left ear said "Leonard, look."

He turned. As the quartet started in on the processional all he could do was gape. And then grin. And then laugh.

James T. Kirk was sauntering down the aisle in a tea length diaphanous [gown](http://pics.livejournal.com/sail_aweigh/pic/0004kpz3) of satin and tulle with flowers in his hair and a matching corsage on his wrist. His long legs (shaved!) gleamed smoothly in the sunlight as he stopped every few steps to strike a pose. A few titters and some light clapping came from the wedding guests. Jim finally came to a stop next to Leonard, put his left arm through McCoy's right and beamed at him. "Just say yes, Bones."

"Yes, to you and to the dress. I love you."

"I know. You would have done the same for me. What more can anyone ask? Besides, I've got better legs than you. It would be a shame to deny this crowd the opportunity to become acquainted with them."

With matching grins, they faced forward and toward the beginning of a life where everything, joys and burdens, were shared equally in body, mind and heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Epilogue

"Bones! Check it out, it's our episode of Say Yes to the Dress on TLC. Hey, while you're up, would you get me a beer? Thanks."

Leonard came back into the living room with two beers and a bowl of pretzels. He dropped down on the couch next to Jim and handed him his beer.

"Oh, Lord. Do you really mean to subject me to this? Isn't it bad enough I had to live through this once?"

"Come on, Bones, it's not like you actually wore the damn thing at our wedding. You got reprieved! Aren't you at all curious as to how that all went down?" Jim crunched down on a pretzel, washing it down with a pull on his beer.

"It happened because you like to hog the spotlight. No one is prettier than James T. Kirk, in, or out, of any kind of clothes. You were just jealous of how magnificent I would have looked. Even the ladies thought so."

"Well, I do like to make an entrance. But, just watch, wouldja."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim sat in the chair facing the camera, while he answered the interviewer's questions.

"We met on the shuttle to Starfleet. He had me at 'I may throw up on you.' I just wanted to make him feel safe."

"He always said suffering is good for the soul. So, yeah, I'm going to make him suffer for a while. He'll thank me for it. It's our deal." Jim let loose a blinding smile.

"He lost the bet. Fortunately for him, I don't believe in no-win scenarios. If I'm going to say yes to him, then I have to be willing to say yes to the dress, also. I'm still getting the best of the bargain."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Christ, kid, you're turning me into a sap."

"Anyway I can get you. All I need is my Bones."

The End  


 _  
**Say Yes To the Dress (Kirk/McCoy, NC-17)**   
_


End file.
